Holiday Stress
When we think about the holiday season, I feel like it’s safe to say that many think positive thoughts about being able to be off of work, relax with family and friends, and enjoy delicious comfort food. At least that’s what I think about when I think about the holidays but that is not the case for some. As a clinician, I have spoken to many folks who find the holiday times to be more stressful than relaxing and with the past year and half being turned upside down, the holidays this year may look a lot differently than before; less people joining due to the pandemic, loved ones have passed, etc.
While some of us are enjoying the festivities, for others, this may be that reminder that their family is unsupportive, dysfunctional, or even non-existent. The “picture perfect” family does not exist, there is no such thing as perfect, or at least when it comes to people; we are flawed. This is also particularly hard if you suffer from depression, anxiety, addictions, and/or an unhealthy relationship with food, etc. The break in your routine, being in a different space, being in a space that you have had a lot of traumatic associations with can make the holidays extremely difficult.
I feel like I say this a lot when I am in session that it is not selfish to put your mental health first. You have been working on yourself, whether it’s with a mental health professional or by yourself, regardless, you have a say in what situations you want to be a part of. It’s important to remember this and to not feel guilty about it. It is not your responsibility to make everyone happy, they are the ones that are in charge of their own happiness. Say no if you don’t feel comfortable going out for drinks or going to Aunt Janice’s house and know that you don’t have to explain why either.
Whether you decide to stay put or to go and spend the holidays with your family, it is important to continue to do things that you feel comfortable with. This time of the year, it is very easy to feel like you have to please everyone but we often forget that this also includes yourself.
If you are out of your comfort zone, make that effort to have some me time. That may be taking a walk by yourself and getting that fresh air while listening to a podcast or music, leaving a room where your mom and aunt are fighting again about who knows what, or taking some time to recite some affirmations to feel grounded when feeling a bit unsteady. If you decide to forgo going back home, spend time with your chosen family, reflect on the fact that you made the best choice for you and that is something to be celebrating!
With this, it is important to be nice to yourself during this time. Remind yourself that your best is good enough; that is something that we have control over.
*** If this holiday season triggers some suicial ideation, please seek help by calling 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or by going to the nearest Emergency Room. ***