What to Say?

What is There to Talk About?

Have you had a therapy appointment scheduled where you felt like you didn’t have anything to talk about? Do you feel like you should always have something to come in and report to your therapist? The truth is - going into a session without a major topic to talk about can be helpful!

So, what happens when you go to your appointment but you don’t have anything to talk about? Let’s talk about it! 

I think it is important to consider what your perception of therapy is. Media and social media portrayals can give the impression that therapy is a time to download about your week and/or gossip about who has irritated you most recently. Don’t let this fool you! Your friends are probably the best people to spill tea to after a long weekend (even though we care deeply and love to hear fun/interesting updates about your life). 

Sometimes there are urgent life events that need immediate attention and support, but there won’t always be breaking news to come into therapy with, and that’s OK! When we’re not dealing with active crises we can usually make room for much deeper emotional work. Maybe you’d like to learn more about your tendency to distance yourself from others when you feel hurt, discuss significant childhood events, or you’ve noticed some self-defeating behaviors that you’d like to look into. Some of these things only have room to be explored when we aren’t preoccupied with the past week's happenings. 

If you are consistently showing up to sessions without anything to talk about - talk to your therapist about that! It might be time to reassess therapeutic goals or consider decreasing session frequency. Otherwise, I encourage you to be open to seeing how it feels to show up without a plan and see what happens - did it feel difficult? Awkward? Were you surprised by what topics came up? Staying curious can help us increase our understanding of ourselves just as much, if not more, than if we had a specific topic in mind.