Love Map Key
John Gottman, psychologist and researcher in relationships and marriages, introduces a concept called “Love Maps” which is essentially exactly what it sounds like! It is a roadmap to understanding and deeply knowing your partner’s inner world- their past, their interests, their dislikes, their fears, and beyond.
The time and intentionality spent understanding your partner helps to predict the success of your relationship and by investing in this, you can enhance your emotional connection, strengthen your friendship with your partner, and be able to tackle life’s challenges more effectively. It helps you to not only know but anticipate your partner’s needs and understand your inner world.
These questions can range from open-ended, to deep and introspective, to light and fun! All in the name of getting to know your partner.
Below, I have compiled some questions to get you started on your “love map” journey! So couples- get askin!
What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind?
Are there specific values you want to highlight in your life?
Can you share a memory from your past that had a deep impact on you?
Do you have a favorite place? Why does it hold such special meaning to you?
What are your favorite ways to show and receive affection?
What role does family play in your life?
How would you describe yourself to a stranger?
Where do you want your career to develop?
What are your biggest life goals and dreams?
How did your family handle conflict when growing up?
What does a typical day look like for you?
Are there typical routines that you find helpful to you to maintain daily?
What were some memories from your school years?
Can you share some anxieties and fears you have
What is a current stressor in your life?
Can you recall a moment you were extremely proud of yourself?
How much do your values influence your daily decision making?
How have you grown or changed over the last year?
What is something you want to actively work on this upcoming year?
What qualities have you inherited from your parents?
Is there a specific book or movie that has had a significant influence on you?
What types of food hold specific sentimental value for you?
What would your perfect day look like?
What do you want to do more of in your life? What do you want to do less of?
How do you typically cope with difficult emotions?
How can I help you during these difficult moments?
What does love mean to you? What would your ideal relationship consist of?
When do you feel most yourself?
Who are 3 people that have had the largest and most significant impact on who you are as a person?
Where do you see this relationship going and what will it take for us to get there?